The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
