I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
