Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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