You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
