first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
