Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
