Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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