Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize