but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
