What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
