You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
