would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
