Whats the glycemic index on semen?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize