did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
