Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
