WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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