did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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