i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
