some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize