thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
