I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
