This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
