i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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