wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
