if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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