i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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