I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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