Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
