I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize