This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
