Betty ford says i'm here all night
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
