the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he thought i was a dude.
the day after is always just damage control
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
