GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
