Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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