uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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