I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
