Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
