I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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