Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
