Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Oh god it's open bar.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
