so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
