Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize