office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
