He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
