Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize