I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
