I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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