Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
