I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
