If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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