laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
this will be a night to untag.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize