Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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