I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
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