Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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