shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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