Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
