dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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