hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize