There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
birth control should be required to get into college
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
