i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
