Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
