I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
