I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
