I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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