On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
