But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
It's Friday. Sex?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize