i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
