I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
