It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize