If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
