I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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