how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
