I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
