Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
