she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize