We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Last time i carry you out of a forest
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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